Lately I have been worried. Anxious. I can't quite explain it, it's so different from how I normally am. Normally when we go on vacation I'm excited and ready to go. This past vacation, I felt like I needed to get everything in order "just in case". I had life insurance information typed out, bank accounts reconciled, information on how to close my business should something happen. It felt so weird. Luckily once we got on our way all of those worries went to the wayside and we had a wonderful time.
Then my 6 month check up mammogram came. They had to reschedule it which made me so frustrated because I just wanted to get it over-with. The time came yesterday for my check and I had this uneasiness that something was there (well, I know something is there, but I was afraid it had changed). I was convinced that I felt such a connection with Ashley and her journey because that would be me. Again, such a weird, unusual feeling for me. I went into the mammogram, however, with a peace like a pro. I'm so used to being squeezed and examined every which way that when I was there I finally felt peace. I don't know if it was a peace that I'd finally have answers or peace that all would be okay. Regardless I had peace once I was in that room. I know part of that was because I had lots of friends praying for me (thank you!). All glory to God, my exam came out clear (after a few extra "pictures" for good measure) and I was told that I didn't need to come back in 6 months - I could now go back to annual mammograms. Again, relief.
I'm not an anxious person. I have always said and believe that if I get breast cancer, there's nothing I can do about it and I will take life as it comes. I don't know why these two events have made me anxious. Actually, I do know why. It's because Satan wants me to be anxious. But that's not how I'm meant to live my life.
I think that now that the business is established, the kids are getting older, etc. that mortality takes on a new meaning for me. But that's not how I want to live my life, worrying about my health or safety anytime something comes up. So I will hold tight to Scripture, trusting what Philippians 4:6-7 says
Then my 6 month check up mammogram came. They had to reschedule it which made me so frustrated because I just wanted to get it over-with. The time came yesterday for my check and I had this uneasiness that something was there (well, I know something is there, but I was afraid it had changed). I was convinced that I felt such a connection with Ashley and her journey because that would be me. Again, such a weird, unusual feeling for me. I went into the mammogram, however, with a peace like a pro. I'm so used to being squeezed and examined every which way that when I was there I finally felt peace. I don't know if it was a peace that I'd finally have answers or peace that all would be okay. Regardless I had peace once I was in that room. I know part of that was because I had lots of friends praying for me (thank you!). All glory to God, my exam came out clear (after a few extra "pictures" for good measure) and I was told that I didn't need to come back in 6 months - I could now go back to annual mammograms. Again, relief.
I'm not an anxious person. I have always said and believe that if I get breast cancer, there's nothing I can do about it and I will take life as it comes. I don't know why these two events have made me anxious. Actually, I do know why. It's because Satan wants me to be anxious. But that's not how I'm meant to live my life.
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“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests
to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests
to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”
I'm so glad to hear you got a good report! I tend to get anxious before we go on a trip too. I hate leaving the boys, especially when both of us are going. I always have to pray a lot, that the Lord will give me peace and will help me to know that He has it all under control :)
ReplyDeleteSo glad you found peace and recognized one Satan's attacks. Praise God on your results! Continued prayers for you!!
ReplyDeletepeace and prayers for you! glad you're ok. there's so many things in this world to be anxious over, but your right our true peace and assurance is in HIM!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy you had a good report! Thanks for your post! I needed to read this today!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth