The Rollercoaster Ride

Rewind 17 years. My mom comes out of her bedroom crying, telling us that she's found a lump in her breast. She goes to her family physician, who says it doesn't look like cancer. She goes in for a biopsy, deciding that if it is cancer they'd take her breast while she's under anesthesia so she doesn't have to go in for another procedure. They find that it IS cancer, and it's also in 4 of 8 of her lymph nodes on that side. They take her left breast in a full mastectomy. She endures chemotherapy and loses her hair.  In my selfishness don't realize the severity of it until I see her sleeping on the couch every time she has her chemo treatment. I'm 14 years old.

Thousands & thousands at the Komen Race 2010

Fast forward a few years. We decide to do the Komen Race for the Cure every year to celebrate my mom as a survivor and to walk for all of those who have died as a result of the disease. It is now an annual event for our family and we rarely miss it because it means so much to my mom. She finds a mass on her right breast and we all head to the hospital and pray while she has a biopsy. As they insert the needle my mom knows that if it disappears, it's just a cyst. She comes into the waiting room with a smile across her face as she tells us that it was just a cyst. God is so good.

Fast forward to Monday afternoon. I had my annual mammo on Friday and received a call from the Radiology center. Normally it's just to say that everything was fine, but this time they said there was a small spot that they wanted to take more pictures of. She said the Radiologist thinks it's just a lymph node, but they want to check to be sure so we set up an appointment for Tuesday at 11. As soon as I called my hubby I started crying. This sort of thing would make any woman nervous, but with the family history and remembering what my mom went through made me very nervous. You always think you know how you'll react in a situation like this, but you don't really know until you are in the midst of it. I work at a church and I told my boss (the Sr. Pastor) since he could see I wasn't quite right. Our LEAD team prayed over me and asked that there be nothing in my body when they did the second mammogram. I told my hubby, parents, a few at work and four of my close girl friends. I knew they would all pray faithfully for me.

This morning I tried not to think too much about it. I consider myself a realist, so in my mind I was planning everything out. If I was told to get a biopsy, I'd close my Etsy and regular store until I knew more because I didn't want to deal with giving refunds if I couldn't complete orders. I'd call Dave and he'd come over right away to be with me. The kids would be taken care of and we'd do what we needed to do. I don't consider myself a pessimist, but I like to be prepared for whatever comes my way. The technician did the mammogram every which way and as I'm standing there I over analyze every extra picture and every long pause as she looks at the x-rays. Do the extra pictures mean she sees something? Is she pausing because she can't find anything, or because she sees something? After many images she told me that she couldn't find the spot that they saw on the mammogram from Friday. She talked to the Radiologist and he suggested that we do an ultrasound to double check.

I went in and again over-analyzed every sigh and pause from the ultrasound tech. The tech told me she didn't see anything and again the Radiologist read the images. He came in and said that it was clear, he didn't see anything on the scans and that I was good to go. Praise God! He removed the spot that was there! I quickly called hubby, mom & dad, and my best friend Chrissy. As I was talking to my dad a call buzzed in and I didn't recognize the number. It was the ultrasound tech, Angie. "We need you to come back in, the Radiologist asked me to get some images of the other side of your breast." Um, what? Didn't we just do that? "He's not worried, just wants to be sure with the family history." Back to the Radiology center and those little doubts crept back in. Again, over-analyzing every pause and sigh by the ultrasound tech. In the end, she came back in and said the Radiologist AGAIN gave me the all-clear. God is so good!

I know this is a LONG and different post from anything I've ever posted, but I wanted to be a testament to the power of prayer as well as an advocate for getting your breasts examined. Life can change in an instant. You can find a lump. You can get in a car accident. Your child could get sick. Your parent could have a stroke. Life is fleeting. Enjoy it while you can, because we're not promised tomorrow.